I would like to tell you about a book I have been reading called "The Toothpaste Millionaire" . The main character is a twelve year old boy named Rufus Mayflower. The second most important person is Kate MacKinstrey, his good friend. The story takes place in Cleveland Ohio.
One day Rufus and Kate went shopping for Rufus's mother because she needed toothpaste. Rufus saw that the toothpaste cost seventy-nine cents and said "that's crazy". He decided to make his own toothpaste and sell it so he can make money.
First, Rufus and Kate pick a peppermint flavor for the toothpaste. Next, they got kids in the the neighborhood to help them make the toothpaste. Then, they sold it to people in the neighborhood for three cents per tube. Rufus and Kate got so much business that they had to move out of the basement they were in and rent a factory to make the toothpaste. Rufus got a mechanic to make a toothpaste machine for him. Every Wednesday and Saturday the mechanic would check up on them to make sure the machine was running fine.
Finally, Rufus and Kate starred in a commercial for Toothpaste. People started buying it like bees to honey and Rufus became a MILLIONAIRE.
See me for the changes! You need to be careful with spelling and punctuation! You also need to develop the story a bit more . . . Look hard at the sentence - First They pick peppermint flavor - What's wrong with the punctuation? And peppermint flavored what? What gave Rufus the idea to make toothpaste? Please edit the blog and show me!
ReplyDeleteTHAT'S what I'm talkin about!!! Great job Jud!!!
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